A Thousand Sleepless Nights

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“‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise”
Blessings by Laura Story

I went through a season a few months ago where I dreaded the sunset.  Seeing the beauty of the sun going down beyond the horizon was gone.  All I saw was night time coming, which meant hours of frustration.  I just wanted to sleep. Yep, just sleep, nothing more.  Yet, sleep evaded me. Ever felt that? Ever suffer from insomnia? Well, it sucks. Totally sucks.

For a while, I had been living on only 2-3 hours of sleep a night. I don’t really know why, but I do have some suspicions. Part of the reason could have been due to going off and then back on my anti depressant medication. Part of it could have been over commitment. Part of it could have been going into a busy, demanding season. Regardless of the reason, it sucked. Did I mention that?

Downward Spiral of Sleeplessness
Sleep is essential for good health. The cycle of sleeplessness is horrible  When you’re tired,  your caffeine intake increases as does your sugar intake. The less sleep you get, the less energy you have which culminates in less exercise. It’s a brutal downward spiral. Without exercise,  your body feels sluggish. Ugh, and then comes the irritability, frustration and all out bitchiness.

Suggestions to Combat Sleeplessness
During the night, my bed became a torture chamber.  I would lie awake, willing myself back to sleep.  When that didn’t work, I’d pray.  Next, I’d read.  Finally, after hours of failure, I’d get up and watch a movie.  I watched a lot of movies during that season! Very well meaning friends offered a ton of great suggestion; a warm bath, sleepy time tea, magnesium, prayer, melatonin, exercise, etc. And finally, when nothing else worked, there was sleeping medication. At one point, I had to go that route just to keep my sanity. Thankfully, I didn’t have to use medication for long, as my sleep did eventually get back on track.

The Reason?
Is there a reason that I wasn’t sleeping? Is there a reason that my mind couldn’t shut off and take a break from the world? I don’t know and I’ll never know this side of heaven. But what if it takes a thousand sleepless nights in order to know that God is near?   What if that season, and any other season that I’ll experience, of sleeplessness is for a greater reason? Does that make it easier to manage my exhaustion? You know, it does. I know that whatever God brings into my life is for a reason, and getting through it, with my faith intact, is the important thing.So, as I moved on to better, longer, more sound sleep, I was thankful.  Just thankful.

Have you ever suffered insomnia?  How did you manage?

Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
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2 Replies to “A Thousand Sleepless Nights”

  1. Thanks fo sharing, Linda. I do not remember having sleepless nights – but there have been occasions when I have fallen asleep and have then awoken in the wee, small hours – usually when there has been paticular stress, sorrow or worry in my life. But God has proved faithful in those times and has often given me by best solutions or coping mechanisms. I have found it helpful to get up and write them down before fally back to sleep – and have often been suprised by what I wrote! Love, Gwen

    1. It is amazing what we can write down in the wee hours of the night, isn’t it? Yes, I’ve definitely written many lists in the night. It’s a great way to get them off your mind.
      Thankfully, I’m sleeping soundly these days. 7-8 hours a night! Love it.

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